what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
