That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
