I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Someone signed my nipple.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
