your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
