Sry I called you an 8
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
