At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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