well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
