Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
