***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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