girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
