In the future we'll all be gay
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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