I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
