Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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