Small penises have feelings too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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