i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
