I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
