Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
