Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
