I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
