Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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