I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize