Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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