Non-Jews are for practice
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
