I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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