Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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