I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
