I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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