you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
