Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
