At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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