having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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