He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
