Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
