Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
