Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
