Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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