I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
