mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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