Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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