if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize