You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
NoShamevember. You game?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
