It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize