I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
