That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
