its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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