We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
