My first STD was from a foam party
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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