he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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