she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
