so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
