Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
