i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
