Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
