I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
