Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
