brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
