I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
