i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
