Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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