I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
