I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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