Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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