Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
