I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
